There is a chemical in a girls’ brain is released only two different times in her life, when she has sex, and when she breast feeds her baby. This chemical emotionally connects her to another person for the rest of her life. Us guys? We only release this chemical when we bond with our children. So if you think sex is a game and go around fucking as many girls as you want, remember that you can mentally mess this girl up for the rest of her life. If you’re still friends afterwards then whatever, but she will always feel some sort of feeling for you, just because of the chemical.
It’s called Oxytocin, it’s actually released when a woman gives birth as well. But this is so true… sex is more than just a game, and this is a clear reason that explains why humans were only created to have sex with just one person. Doing it with multiple people will have a very strong negative effect on your relationship with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. I wish more kids knew about this… not that this should be your only motive not to have sex before marriage, but it is one of the most important.
Everyone should know this.
Though I’ll contest that we were “created” for anything, this psychological stuff is basically true, to the best of my knowledge.
lol using science to slut shame
Actually, pretty much none of that is true. Both men and women have oxytocin. It’s released during both sex and masturbation.
And no, having multiple sexual partners does not mess you up mentally or make you unable to bond. Premarital sex isn’t inherently different from marital sex, either. And besides, if sex makes us bond so well, why do most people still have multiple sexual partners during their life? Why do people still break up?
It’s love that breaks your heart and messes you up mentally. Not sex. Being broken up with or betrayed is what makes people cynical and distrusting. I think the reason people mix the two up is because the two are closely intertwined and a lot of people (most people?) only have sex when they’re in a serious relationship. It’s correlation, not causation. Oh, and the fact that sexuality is treated as shameful in our society doesn’t help.
Sorry for this somewhat off-topic post, but I think it’s important that people know the facts when it comes to human sexuality. Telling people that there’s something wrong with them just because they’ve had more sex partners than you approve of does not do them any favors. It just makes them feel ashamed and hurt, if anything.
Oh, and here’s some other magical wonderful things that oxytocin does!
Uterine contraction – important for cervical dilation before birth and causes contractions during the second and third stages of labor. Oxytocin release during breastfeeding causes mild but often painful contractions during the first few weeks of lactation.
Sexual arousal. Oxytocin injected into the cerebrospinal fluid causes spontaneous erections in rats, reflecting actions in the hypothalamus and spinal cord. Centrally administrated oxytocin receptor antagonists can prevent non contact erections, which is a measure of sexual arousal. Studies using oxytocin antagonists in female rats provide data that oxytocin increases lordosis behavior, indicating an increase in sexual receptivity.
Sounds like fun stuff.
It also seems to make people more ethnocentric:
Oh, and as for how harmful premarital sex is? Here’s how it worked out for me:
- No diseases.
- No pregnancies or pregnancy scares.
- Married my high school sweetheart.
- Only ever had one sexual partner.
So maybe there’s something to that oxytocin thing (I think sex made us both feel closer) but as for the premarital sex being inherently harmful and ruining you for life? Not so much.
My first serious relationship involved no sex. There actually wasn’t any physical contact. But when he broke up with me I was devastated for a while and had a hard time trusting or loving anyone. I was almost too scared to enter into my current relationship thinking that maybe it was a rebound or it would just hurt me again. Love did that to me. Breaking up was what broke my heart. Not sex. (Happy ending: It’s all okay now because we weren’t right for each other and he was right to end it. I still talk to him and consider him a good friend. So that first heartbreak feels like the end of the world, but it’s not.)
So I guess the conclusion of this little ramble is that you shouldn’t feel ashamed, bad, or damaged by having premarital sex or multiple partners throughout your lifetime. Sometimes we think we’re in love and it’s going to last forever but it doesn’t. Sometimes we just want to have casual sex. That’s not inherently bad. You just need to always be honest about your intentions and make sure that you’re taking care your and your partner’s health. Don’t betray, mislead, infect, or unintentionally impregnate anyone and it’s okay.
…Wow, I had a lot to say. Sorry if that annoyed anybody.